Tuesday, December 2, 2014

katie and devin

Grateful for these two, not only for their friendship but for the fact that they totally hammed it up in front of the camera and made this such a fun shoot. I love when my friends have secret modeling talents I didn't know about. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

three years

We went away to the Outer Banks for our third anniversary and it was windy and cold and cozy. There are a number of wonderful things to be said about the charming bed and breakfast we stayed at, but here's the main thing: they knew instinctually that a couple of coffee drinkers such as ourselves would require a pot delivered to the room before coffee at breakfast. 

It's nice, to feel so understood.

Mittened bike rides were taken to the lighthouse, books read, kayak rides contemplated until we realized we valued our lives too much to risk getting thrown out into the waves and eaten by a shark before dying of hypothermia. We ran out to the dock at night with blankets thrown over our heads like idiots, just to peek up at the starts before hurrying back for more coffee. (The innkeepers must know addicts when they see them; they informed us every time a new pot was brewed.)

On our second night, after watching It's a Wonderful Life in our room and drinking champagne out of the plastic cups they put by the sink, as one does, I thought I'd open up the reflection discussion. You know. I consider the reflection discussions part of my wifely duty. 

Reflections, of course, on our third year of marriage, how we fell infinitely deeper in love, how we began to understand one another on a deep, emotional level that was perhaps strong and true enough to fuel the raging sea outside our window, love and passion crashing together like thunderous November waves.

Mostly I was trying to think of the high points of the year. 

There were memorable moments, of course. The fancy dinner at that restaurant. A few trips here and there. A little mischief here and there.

But surely, surely there was something important we accomplished in our marriage. Some way we grew and changed and helped make each other better people. 


"Um. We watched all eleven seasons of Cheers."


That was our big accomplishment, watching Ted Danson age over the course of eleven years.

This was a bit depressing, even after the emotional song and dance of It's a Wonderful Life. (Good thing we hadn't chosen Rear Window instead; what can I say, I have a married lady crush on Jimmy Stewart.)

Had we really gone an entire year without changing in epic ways? Are we entering the years when you just sort of coast? My gosh, is THIS is why people have kids?

I did some solid, internal fretting for a good fifteen minutes. 

And then I looked around our room, which we had only inhabited for a couple of days but was already starting to look so much like us - the stacks of books, the scattered coffee mugs, the empty champagne bottle, the weird jar of coconut oil we use as toothpaste. Simple, everyday stuff.

And I realized there was so much ordinariness this year, in the midst of boredom and sometimes chaos. I didn't have a steady job for most of the year; Trevor worked two. It was confusing and hard at times, and we didn't have a lot of room to take epic leaps and bounds in our marriage. We had maybe two hours on a Monday afternoon. 

So maybe this year was mostly about staying sane and still liking each other. Maybe the grace that spurred us on was in the repetition of just doing the next right thing. Giving back rubs after a long day, making each other those boring old scrambled eggs every morning. Coffee with our friend Brittany every Tuesday, who made us laugh and taught us the pure joy that comes in walking with the Lord. The afternoons at the park, me on my unicycle, him running beside me, high-fiving each other every once in a while, a silent acknowledgement that we probably looked like a couple of circus freaks.

The dinners made together, the Target trips, redbox. Him jumping my car every time my battery died, me waving my hands around like a demented old woman and acting like I had no clue how this could have happened, again. Dinners with friends. White sheets and road trips and the farmer's market. Avocados. 

I bet a thousand little things happened that grew us and shifted our marriage and edged us a little bit closer to Christ. Like those moments that seem so ordinary - lunches in the cafeteria - until you look back ten years later and suddenly that part of your life looks like a freakin' Russian novel, each detail and character rushing the story forward to a dramatic conclusion you simply couldn't have seen at the time.

Maybe it's not for us to know, now. Maybe it's enough to trust God with the big stuff and to keep on keepin' on in our little appointed tasks. Maybe I'll go ahead and throw the chicken in the oven for him, before he comes home, and ask God for another year of love, of grace.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

day 16, dictating

I feel like the secretary to the morning whose only
responsibility is to take down its bright, airy dictation
until it's time to go to lunch with the other girls,
all of us ordering the cottage cheese with half a pear.

Billy Collins

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

day 15, weeknights

Sometimes, when the weeknights get a little monotonous with the TV show hosts and the towering dishes and sunk-in couch, a picnic by the lake is all you really need to feel human again.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

day 14, lately

I know, I know. I kind of fell of the 31 day wagon, but I'm still here. 

Reading - A lot of Richard Foster (Celebration of Discipline, Life with God). I randomly picked up some of his books at the library (I guess he was a big deal writer in the eighties?) and I'm eating them up. So relevant still, and so challenging. In a good way. I'm also reading Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, which is quick and funny, perfect for reading in those in-between moments, like waiting for the coffee to brew. It's also been super fun following along with some of the other 31 Days series. I'm loving Jess Connolly's, Leia Bryn's, Nadine's...the list goes on.

Loving - A pair of long flowy pants I found at a thrift store, half skirt half pants. They're very strange, as in they almost too hippy-ish for Free People. They could illicit stares at Woodstock. But I love them, and love is blind I suppose. Oh well. I'm loving late afternoons at Panera, sipping on that good ol' artificially flavored hazelnut coffee. Starbucks, to me, is for spring/summer and Panera is most definitely fall/winter (maybe because you can get your own coffee refills?)

Watching - Once Upon a Time, though this may be the last season for me. The Frozen thing has been taken just a little too far.

Listening - To a million different podcasts, usually while I clean. My favorites are the Influence Network, Clickin Moms, and Elise Gets Crafty.

Wanting - To keep growing and pushing myself to learn photography. It's kind of difficult when I'm home alone most of the time without any living beings to practice on. Suddenly I'm very eager to volunteer my babysitting services... (kidding, kidding.)

Hoping - Some opportunities I've been looking into will pan out. Hoping that my hair stays red forever (I find white hairs constantly - not even grey, white. I am way too young to have visible reminders of my mortality.) Hoping I can get my writing juices flowing. I'm itching to take on a big project again.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

day 8, or, you too?

I found out that when he reads a magazine, he always reads the editor's letter, and now I love him even more.

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