Wednesday, July 31, 2013

what I'm learning



Packages never arrive when they're supposed to. Also, I need to stop ordering things off the Internet because the anticipation just about makes me crazy to the point where I suddenly cannot function until I receive my package of fruity tea, or that necklace from Korea.

Organic coffee is just as good. Maaaaaybe better.

It's best to just accept that I do, in fact, look seventeen. ("Bless your heart," one lady said to me the other day, "you've just got one of them baby faces.") Perhaps top knots and pink jeans don't help.

I am so much more creative and energized and free spirited when unemployed. Dang it.

Also, husbands don't fall for that, "But I need to stay home to be free to explore my creative potential!" talk. (I guess he's already seen how far my artsy degree has gotten me?)

At least I know, from my week and a half of unemployment, that I would make a superb housewife. Laundry is great fun when you have a whole eight hours to do it.

Fake flowers? Eh, they do the trick.

Women still have a bump after giving birth. Not to sound totally ignorant, but I truly did not know this until I saw the Kate Middleton pictures. She looked incredibly gorgeous and elegant as always, but I was so confused that she was holding a baby...with a baby bump. But after some quick research, I now know just a little more about the facts of life. The Internet has cured my naivety once again.

Good intentions don't count.

Poetry is great. Being an English major made me anxious around it, like it was something to be dissected and gutted like a fish, and I'm not really into getting my hands dirty. Does anyone even know what that red wheelbarrow poem is all about? Because I'd really like to believe it's just about a wheelbarrow. And now you know why I am, to this day, still afraid to see what GPA I graduated with. I may never know. But I've been reading some (modern) poetry for fun, and I may just be a convert. Much better way to spend those spare moments than scrolling through my phone.

Scrambled eggs and avocado are changing my life.

One month later, that no-shampoo gig is also changing my life. So worth those couple weeks of suspiciously slick ponytails.

Always check to see if your clothes are on backwards.

I may never get out of this cycle of random temp jobs. Getting trained and starting something new every couple weeks and not knowing what's going to happen next. I guess it's nice, in a way, better than being strapped down to a job I hate. But I'm suffering from recurring day-dreams of getting hired at that cute book shop downtown and shelving the classics in my poofy white skirt and cardigan. Recommending my favorites while pushing my glasses up my nose. Is it too much to ask?

The fact that I was born after eyebrow pencils were invented is proof that God loves me.






17 comments:

  1. I've been wanting to try the no shampoo thing for a while.

    And your last lesson, hilarious!

    Have a great August!

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  2. You're simply adorable. :-) I love all of these.

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  3. Oh my word ... I absolutely love this post. Totally made me smile — the real good kind of smile that makes your cheeks hurt.

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  4. Great and funny post! I really want to try the no-shampoo thing...nervous

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  5. I just discovered your blog via some random instagram hashtag stalking (even just writing it makes me blush with embarrassment!) and I love it. Your honesty, humour and thoughtfulness have me hooked :)

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  6. Love! I seriously get so excited every time you update!

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  7. Your last lesson is my favorite.

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  8. Loved this post! Really creative and fun! :)

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  9. now that i am full time, mon-fri type of working, i know what you mean about laundry being fun when you have 8 hours to do it. i used to have weekdays off to do all my errands and all the household chores. now, when the weekend rolls around i don't want to do laundry, i want to sit at the pool or go to the farmers market or have brunch with girl friends. i know i don't have to tell you, but enjoy this time!

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  10. i'm so glad kate middleton could help educate you about life post giving birth ;) that is hilarious.

    the no-shampoo deal. i was all about it and totally committed for the long run, tried it one time, and quit. i know, i'm very dedicated.

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  11. This was hilarious. I need more :)

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  12. Aw your baby face story makes me smile! Just today we were having siding delivered, and the man delivering it asked where in the driveway my dad would want it . . . and then I paused way too long while I decided if I should let it go or if I should tell him I was the homeowner, and I'm married. Awkward all around. Coincidentally, I too had a top knot and was wearing pink. Lovely post!

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  13. Thanks for sharing your list. It made me smile. I so wish some one would have told me about the baby bump after baby before I had my first child. It was slightly depressing. Good fact to know before you have your first baby. Praying you find a job where you are able to be creative or get to work in a fun bookstore.

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  14. One day I was at an event with my coworkers and at least 6 times I was called a teenager. I am 25 people. and married. and I work with these people I am hanging out with - it is not bring your daughter to work day!

    Oh dear. They all say we should love that we look young!! haha.

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  15. So true about the packages! I find myself constantly checking the tracking info. And it doesn't change a whole lot...

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  16. I completely agree on the eyebrow pencil thing! My brows are so much lighter than my hair I look silly when I don't use it. Also, I was always told I looked 12. I embraced it (when I'm 30 I'll be laughing at everybody who does look their age, I thought.) Then last month, I didn't get carded at a resturante for the first time and I was so dissapointed. YEARS of looking so much younger than bamb! I hit 24 years old and magically look my age now. It was a very sad day for me. Enjoy it, it is such a good thing!

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