Friday, October 3, 2014
day 3, or my current job story
at 1:06 PM
I worked at Anthropologie for nine months, right up to almost the end of the summer. It was as magical and fragrant as you would imagine. I wore cardigans and vintage dresses and red lipstick to my shifts. I told women how fabulous they looked when they came out of the dressing room, assuring them that they absolutely did look like Kate Middleton in that cream coat. I sewed orange slices together for displays. I ate lavendar espresso cheese at employee parties. I had coworkers with names like Oceana, Holland, Amelie, Mittens. (That is a true story.) I'd never been so inspired by a job.
Unfortunately the hours sucked. And so when I was offered a job cleaning houses, I almost had no choice but to accept. I needed a more steady income, even if that meant trading my Chanel perfume for bleach and tile scrub.
So that's what I'm doing now. I clean houses. It pays much better than Anthro and I'm grateful for it, I know God put it in my path at just the right time. But, can I be honest for a minute? It's brought up a lot of crud I didn't know I had lurking around me. Like pride.
I don't mind the cleaning. It's strange for me to be all up in a stranger's personal business, and I don't enjoy it, but it's fine. It's hard work that I can do and then be done with. But when people ask what I do, I want to crawl under the table. Because this isn't really me, I'm not really a housecleaner! I went to college! And I get all weird about it.
I would so love to say that I'm getting over it, that I've found my identity in Christ alone and that I don't care about impressing people or feeling smart. But I struggle with it every day, every time I snap on those rubber gloves. Because let's face it, this isn't what I had envisioned my twenty-five year old self doing.
I get it. It's a job and I'm making money and that's all that matters. There are so, so many people who would love just to be able to say that. God is providing. And also teaching me a lot, a lot of things I'm not sure I wanted to learn. And in the end, it's all for him anyway, so who am I to wish for anything different? I truly believe I am right where he wants me and that is always a good feeling.