- That time I tried to lead a Bible study.
There's something terrifying about sitting there with twenty girls and several adults just staring at you, waiting for you to say something profound or holy or, at the very least, funny. I pretty much froze. I'd read a Bible verse and be like, "So, like, what do you guys think about that?" It was awful.
They just blinked at me until one girl randomly piped up and said, "Yeah, but how did you know Trevor was the one?"
- The first time I met the youth group was at a party. Somehow I ended up sitting in a room with about three kids, and no one was saying anything. Awkward silence for several minutes. So I took it upon myself to remedy the situation by saying, "Well, hey...we all have red hair!" Because we all really did have red hair. But no one else seemed to be as amused by the fact. More staring.
- My first Sunday at the church.
I was about to walk out of the bathroom when some girl said, "Um, hey, your skirt is tucked into your underwear."
I still have nightmares about what would have happened if that girl hadn't been there. I've actually never seen her since, so I'm just assuming she was a wardrobe malfunction angel. (If this is the case, I'd like to know where she's been the rest of my life).
- The pantyhose situation. Or, "When My Victoria's Secret Stockings Were Suddenly No Longer a Secret".
- When I brought a ginger beer to a staff meeting. For those of you who don't know, ginger beer is basically an intense version of ginger ale and is definitely non-alchoholic. But the bottle apparently looks like a beer bottle. Everyone was awkardly staring at it the whole time until someone said, "So, uh, what's in that bottle?"
- When I tried to welcome the new girl.
So this one night at Youth Group I spotted a new girl and, of course, introduced myself. "Hey, I'm Heather, Trevor's wife. We are so glad to have you tonight!" I said, all enthusiastically. "Hope you come back!"
Later that night I told Trevor about the sweet new girl I met. And he was like, "Huh. I didn't see any new kids tonight."
"Yeah, her name was Kayla."
And he smirked and said, "Kayla's been going to this church her entire life."
It's like, why do I try.
- When one of the fashion-conscious girls called me out for outfit repeating. Observant little
- Summer camp. There was a no PDA rule for the campers. And, since I look all of twelve years old, people were constantly mistaking me for a camper, constantly telling Trevor and I to stop holding hands, until they realized who we were.
One night Trevor and I were walking into our cabin and this pastor literally followed us in and demanded to know just what we were doing.
When it finally dawned on him that we were adults and married, he kept apologizing. And it was just awkward all around. Because, that thing he thought we were going in there to do? That's exactly what we were going in there to do.
- Trevor was leading this summer Bible study for the kids, and was making sure that everyone had brought their Bible. He asked everyone to raise their hands if they needed one, and no one did.
"Good," he said. "I mean, who doesn't bring their Bible to a Bible study?" Everyone laughed.
And I slowly raised my hand.