Wednesday, January 2, 2013
at 12:38 PM
Hope everyone is ready for another week of awkwardness...I sure wasn't.
My awkward moments of the week:
-Ordering a salad at Subway. The menu offered a vegetable salad, so I ordered the vegetable salad.
Subway girl: "What would you like on the salad?"
Me: "Oh, whatever comes on it."
Subway girl: "It's all up to you."
So I kind of start sweating a little bit because I hate these kinds of decisions.
I was like, "Hmm. Huh. Uhhh...wow, really?" And then it turns out all they have is banana peppers and onions. No carrots, no dainty little almond flakes. Don't they know that girls go to Subway?
So I paid five dollars for a bowl of leaves and some cheese. Never again.
-Discovering that my navy dress is actually black. Trevor casually remarked about my black dress and I yanked it out of the closet and held it under the light to discover that it is, indeed, black. And now everything I have worn it with suddenly does not match. Everything I know is wrong.
-Buying a bottle of wine with Trevor. The lady at the cash register gave me the evil eye and asked how old I was. I didn't have my ID, so Trevor had to tell her that I'm twenty-three (really). And I thought I'd help the situation by sticking out my left hand and saying, "It's okay, we're married!"
Her eyebrow was still raised.
And then I remembered that people under twenty-one can be married, too.
-Getting sick and losing my voice...at a wedding. I really wanted to talk to the sweet couple sitting across from us, so I attempted to croak out a conversation. An hour later I mention that I'm sick and they're all, "Oh, no, really?"
Please, please tell me you did not actually think I sounded like a warthog with tonsillitis.