Wednesday, January 2, 2013

awkwardness


Hope everyone is ready for another week of awkwardness...I sure wasn't.

My awkward moments of the week:

-Ordering a salad at Subway. The menu offered a vegetable salad, so I ordered the vegetable salad.
Subway girl: "What would you like on the salad?"
Me: "Oh, whatever comes on it."
Subway girl: "It's all up to you."

So I kind of start sweating a little bit because I hate these kinds of decisions.

I was like, "Hmm. Huh. Uhhh...wow, really?" And then it turns out all they have is banana peppers and onions. No carrots, no dainty little almond flakes. Don't they know that girls go to Subway?

So I paid five dollars for a bowl of leaves and some cheese. Never again.

-Discovering that my navy dress is actually black. Trevor casually remarked about my black dress and I yanked it out of the closet and held it under the light to discover that it is, indeed, black. And now everything I have worn it with suddenly does not match. Everything I know is wrong.

-Buying a bottle of wine with Trevor. The lady at the cash register gave me the evil eye and asked how old I was. I didn't have my ID, so Trevor had to tell her that I'm twenty-three (really). And I thought I'd help the situation by sticking out my left hand and saying, "It's okay, we're married!"

Her eyebrow was still raised.

And then I remembered that people under twenty-one can be married, too.

-Getting sick and losing my voice...at a wedding. I really wanted to talk to the sweet couple sitting across from us, so I attempted to croak out a conversation. An hour later I mention that I'm sick and they're all, "Oh, no, really?"

Please, please tell me you did not actually think I sounded like a warthog with tonsillitis.

10 comments:

  1. bahaha!!
    First off: I'm so sorry that you got sick + lost your voice! I've been running (off and on now for a few days) a slight fever and I occasionally can't breath. It's terrible! I hope you feel better soon!!
    Second: I know all about buying alcohol!! It is terribly frustrating that no one believes us to be over 21!
    I hope you have a fantastic new year friend!! xo

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    1. I'm sorry you're feeling bad, too! Stinks how sickness always abounds during the holidays. Yeah, I keep waiting for the day I don't look like a high schooler!

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  2. ahahaha, you crack me up!
    I can totally relate to the buying alcohol thing...it's really frustrating when people don't trust that you're being honest with them about your age.

    The Subway story made me chuckle...I've thought the same thing. I mean, they honestly can't come up with anything else to have there to put on a salad? Ridiculous! :)

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    1. Yeah, I don't get it! Maybe I'll writer them a letter...

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  3. Haha these made me laugh SO much! Especially the Subway scenario. I feel like stuff like that ALWAYS happens to me!!!

    xo
    Kaela

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    1. Seriously! Awkward situations always happen in restaurants, it seems like :)

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  4. okay - you are an amazing writer. i am trying not to be jealous ;) gotta love those awkward moments. they keep life full of laughter :)

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    1. Beth, you are so sweet! So glad I found your blog; really looking forward to getting to know you :)

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  5. HAHA! Ok I seriously think you are the funniest person I have met in a long time! These are awesome! ;)
    The hubby and I are now both laughing together at the wine ID one =)
    (I still get the same question dont worry)
    Much Love!

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  6. For reals Subway, why even offer a salad that is so lame?! Although I presume you could put their chicken strips on it but I'm not a huge fan of those.

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