This is not our apartment, but I have a feeling I'll be living here all the same.
We've been in our new home in Apex for four days now. Most of the boxes are, miraculously, unpacked and we no longer have to ask each other, "Where are pans again?" We no longer throw a celebration when one of us locates the toothpaste.
There might have been one day last week when I did not brush my teeth. Don't judge me.
It's even cuter here than I remembered. My favorite is the view from the windows--we're on the third floor, right at the treetops. I like to step onto the balcony and pretend it's a treehouse, Swiss Family Robinson style when the neighbor's dog isn't yapping his head off.
But it's strange, too, settling into a new place and town. It feels like that first week of marriage, after the honeymoon, when Trevor and I had to figure out what this marriage thing was going to look like for us. I don't have a job yet or anything, really, to do, so now that our little world is unpacked, I walk around and think, "Now what?"
Just like in that first week of marriage, I'm desperate for a routine, a sense of normalcy. I want to get a feel for what our lives will be like here and, even though I know that it'll come in time, it's hard to be patient.
Fears creep in when I get lost trying to find my way around town or when I start to feel lonely: "What if we never really make friends here? What if I never find my place in this community and church? What if all those dreams about this place were just an illusion?"
I'm homesick for that sense of belonging. It's fun exploring, but I'm ready for a little consistency. As I hang up my clothes and put towels neatly into their new place, I wonder how life will change. With new jobs, new friends, new schedules, life will undoubtedly look vastly different.
How will our marriage change? How can we consciously grow together in this new season, one in which we're both adjusting to a new pace? Will I stay busy every evening or will I be the same Heather who just wants to curl up with a good book? Who the heck am I, anyway?
I know better than to worry, though. God brought us here for a very real purpose and, just like He has before, He'll put the pieces together.
It'll take effort, of course. Effort and time and a whole lot of patience. But, just like with marriage, we'll figure it all out.