Friday, April 19, 2013

on getting settled

This is not our apartment, but I have a feeling I'll be living here all the same.

We've been in our new home in Apex for four days now. Most of the boxes are, miraculously, unpacked and we no longer have to ask each other, "Where are pans again?" We no longer throw a celebration when one of us locates the toothpaste.

There might have been one day last week when I did not brush my teeth. Don't judge me. 

It's even cuter here than I remembered. My favorite is the view from the windows--we're on the third floor, right at the treetops. I like to step onto the balcony and pretend it's a treehouse, Swiss Family Robinson style when the neighbor's dog isn't yapping his head off.

But it's strange, too, settling into a new place and town. It feels like that first week of marriage, after the honeymoon, when Trevor and I had to figure out what this marriage thing was going to look like for us. I don't have a job yet or anything, really, to do, so now that our little world is unpacked, I walk around and think, "Now what?"

Just like in that first week of marriage, I'm desperate for a routine, a sense of normalcy. I want to get a feel for what our lives will be like here and, even though I know that it'll come in time, it's hard to be patient.

Fears creep in when I get lost trying to find my way around town or when I start to feel lonely: "What if we never really make friends here? What if I never find my place in this community and church? What if all those dreams about this place were just an illusion?"

I'm homesick for that sense of belonging. It's fun exploring, but I'm ready for a little consistency. As I hang up my clothes and put towels neatly into their new place, I wonder how life will change. With new jobs, new friends, new schedules, life will undoubtedly look vastly different.

How will our marriage change? How can we consciously grow together in this new season, one in which we're both adjusting to a new pace? Will I stay busy every evening or will I be the same Heather who just wants to curl up with a good book? Who the heck am I, anyway?

I know better than to worry, though. God brought us here for a very real purpose and, just like He has before, He'll put the pieces together.

It'll take effort, of course. Effort and time and a whole lot of patience. But, just like with marriage, we'll figure it all out.


  1. Praying for you girl. This is SUCH an exciting journey for you and your man! You'll find a job, and be makin' friends left and right...woo!

    What city are you in, anyway? Any closer to Cincinnati?? :)

  2. I totally get this. We're moving downtown on May 1st and I'm so nervous. I hope that you find your sense of community, both in the church and in the town. Thinking of you!

    grace & love,

  3. praying for this new step in your journey! i know the Lord has big plans. just trust Him, seek Him, and He will show you the way!

  4. I definitely get what you mean. My family moved from Virginia to Florida when I was living away. After two years I came "home" to a place I had never been. The newness of it was a bit overwhelming and I ended up hiding for awhile because I gave into fear. It does take being intentional and steps of faith... but trust me, it will get better! After finally stepping out again, I have met incredible people, found a great job, and have a lot of peace. Yes, there are hard days. But all in all, He has revealed so much through this new place + people!

  5. I`m glad you like the apartment even more than you remembered. Finding a job can be tough but soon enough you will find that routine and consistency that you are looking for. Until then I hope you get some nice weather, so that you can enjoy some walks around the new place!


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