Monday, June 3, 2013

on orange eyebrows and loving myself

Last night I was hanging out at Panera, working on some writing (*cough*, staring into space). I had been there for hours, writing and reading with a tall cup of iced coffee by my side. One of those early summer nights that make you want to go jump into a pool with your clothes on. You know the kind.

Anyway, it was late and I had to go to the bathroom and I was doing the hand-washing thing and checking my hair in the mirror. I don't know about you girls, but I'm one of those people who knows store mirrors. Like, "I look okay in the dressing room mirror at that boutique downtown, but any mirror at Target makes me look like pond scum. Panera, ehhh, it's iffy." Does anyone else think like that?

For years I have had this down to a science. It wasn't fun, always afraid of catching a glance of myself in the mirror only to find that I looked like the bride of Frankenstein on what I had thought was a good hair day.

But I've noticed something lately, over the past few months. When I look at myself in the mirror these days I don't look for "pretty" or "not pretty", desperate to know ONCE AND FOR ALL. Sometime between my disastrous post wedding haircut* and now, I've come to recognize that girl in the mirror as me, not a face of features to be scrutinized.

Somewhere along the way I realized that globs and globs of makeup don't do me any favors. Rushing out to buy the newest makeup will never make me feel like I've made it, like oh now I look like Heidi Klum, sheesh, shoulda bought that lipstick a long time ago!

The days when I feel most confident are the ones when I can look at my frizzy hair, uneven skin, and orange eyebrows and say, "Oh, hey, it's me! I like her." I wish I had learned this years ago.

I still have bad days and feel like these dumb bangs aren't ever going to grow and I may even say prayers like, "Please don't let me get hit by a truck without knowing what I would at least look like with long hair! I've just got to know." But those things don't have a say in my attitude towards my self. My hair doesn't make or break my day.

I had coffee with a friend the other day, one of those times where you just talk and laugh and don't even realize how long you've been sitting there until you get up to leave. As I got into my car, I realized that my eyeliner was totally smudged and that my bra had been showing the entire time. I like to think I at least make others feel better about themselves. And I just had to laugh. Because, at the end of the day, who remembers other people's smudged eyeliner anyway?

*Tip: Don't ever get your hair cut by a girl whose cosmetology license was issued a month ago and says, "I'm pretty new at this," as she cuts your hair literally strand by strand. 


  1. Aaah. What a refreshing post to read. I love this, Heather. Thanks for a great lesson and reminder. :)

  2. oh, i love this. loving yourself is so important. we will never have it all together, but the imperfections are what makes us unique :) kudos to you for embracing who you are! i'm in that process as well; there's something so humbling about learning to be content with oneself.

    grace & love,

    ps. i have a series called Wonderfully Made, through which i encourage women to love themselves and each other instead of finding fault and flaws. if you'd be interested in being my next featured woman, please email me! i'd love to feature you :)

  3. I love your blog posts! As well as your design. Your blog is one of the most soothing ones I follow. Love it!

    I totally know what you mean about mirrors. There are good mirrors and then there are the BRIGHT NEON LIGHT mirrors that point out every cellulite dimple on your body. Ew! Belks is bad for that.

    I'm loving myself more as I get older too. That's why I started a blog because I finally feel confident enough to just Be me and that is a great thing.

    I always have a problem with my lower lash line mascara rubbing onto my skin so I will feel like I look good but 10 minutes later I will have a gunk ball under my eye.

    Thanks everyone for telling me. Lol. Kristyn is right. we will never always have it together but we are who we are and you are so adorable.

    Keep writing posts like this. We ALL can relate to them!


  4. This is great! I've actually stopped wearing makeup for the most part largely because I saw that I was depending on it as a measure beauty and self-worth. You are you and God is using you (smudged eyeliner and all) for His kingdom work! That 's so exciting :)


  5. love this! "Oh, hey, it's me! I like her." that is great.

  6. Beautifully written! The simplistic way of thinking sometimes helps rather then getting caught up in the charm and glam that those around us tell us we need to be or look... those looks just don't work! It's about what's coming out of your heart- I just love how your blog radiates beautiful contentment!!!

  7. Linked over from your wonderfully made post! I love this. I totally get mirrors that make you look bad. And the makeup. I rarely wear makeup, maybe once a week for church. It's better that way because then everyone says, "WOW! You look amazing!" When all I did was spend 2 minutes applying eyeliner and mascara. Little do they know... :)


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