from my notebook

Thinking this morning about connectedness. Someone once said that our lives are circles, and that is so true. That's one of my favorite things about life, really. Discovering patterns that loop around. I love finding myself in a conversation about something I was just reading about the other day, or when someone shares their story, and it resonates with everything I'm going through. Overhearing fascinating conversations. Learning and growing and finding connections in all of it.

And it's all interconnected through God. In Him we find meaning and purpose, a divine order of things. That gives me hope, more than almost anything. I can't help but be comforted when I see divine patterns bringing together the tiny pieces of my life, surprising me at the most unexpected moments.

* * *

So this morning I was making scrambled eggs for breakfast. Cracking eggs is something I've always had issues with, but I was explaining to Trevor my new egg-cracking theory. "It's all about confidence," I said. "You can't just give it a little tap, you have to really whack it like you mean it." And I whacked the egg against the bowl and the yolk went flying onto my leg. How these things happen to me I'll never know. 

* * *

I finally brought my yellow bike Gloria up from Mom and Dad's house. She's still rusty, and both the front tire and the chain have this pesky habit of falling off, but I guess she's not any worse off than she was in college. The wheel popping off on the way to class, me carrying the parts across campus like an idiot. Trevor coming to my rescue.

Trev and I went for a long bike ride yesterday on the most gorgeous tree-lined trail. It was incredibly peaceful and invigorating at the same time. Why is it, I wonder, that the most peaceful activities are the ones where wind is blowing on your face and through your hair; sailing, flying, biking.

* * *

I hate this--being twenty-four and still not exactly sure what my personality is. People are always telling me what I am: shy, ditzy, soft-spoken, funny, quiet, quirky. Which is it?

* * *

Mondays are for messy buns. Every single Monday I throw my hair on top of my head. Because I won't see Trevor much today and because today is not for being pretty. It is for getting down to business, cleaning, writing, creating. It is not a sign of laziness. The bun means business.

* * *

I was wearing my new Banana Republic shirt to church this morning, feeling pretty cute about it, too. I floated through church, hugging people and talking and laughing, floated home and admired my shirt in the mirror. And then I turned and saw that it was totally unzipped. All down my back. 

Why.