day 16, dictating

I feel like the secretary to the morning whose only
responsibility is to take down its bright, airy dictation
until it's time to go to lunch with the other girls,
all of us ordering the cottage cheese with half a pear.

Billy Collins

day 15, weeknights

Sometimes, when the weeknights get a little monotonous with the TV show hosts and the towering dishes and sunk-in couch, a picnic by the lake is all you really need to feel human again.

day 14, lately

I know, I know. I kind of fell of the 31 day wagon, but I'm still here. 

Reading - A lot of Richard Foster (Celebration of Discipline, Life with God). I randomly picked up some of his books at the library (I guess he was a big deal writer in the eighties?) and I'm eating them up. So relevant still, and so challenging. In a good way. I'm also reading Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, which is quick and funny, perfect for reading in those in-between moments, like waiting for the coffee to brew. It's also been super fun following along with some of the other 31 Days series. I'm loving Jess Connolly's, Leia Bryn's, Nadine's...the list goes on.

Loving - A pair of long flowy pants I found at a thrift store, half skirt half pants. They're very strange, as in they almost too hippy-ish for Free People. They could illicit stares at Woodstock. But I love them, and love is blind I suppose. Oh well. I'm loving late afternoons at Panera, sipping on that good ol' artificially flavored hazelnut coffee. Starbucks, to me, is for spring/summer and Panera is most definitely fall/winter (maybe because you can get your own coffee refills?)

Watching - Once Upon a Time, though this may be the last season for me. The Frozen thing has been taken just a little too far.

Listening - To a million different podcasts, usually while I clean. My favorites are the Influence Network, Clickin Moms, and Elise Gets Crafty.

Wanting - To keep growing and pushing myself to learn photography. It's kind of difficult when I'm home alone most of the time without any living beings to practice on. Suddenly I'm very eager to volunteer my babysitting services... (kidding, kidding.)

Hoping - Some opportunities I've been looking into will pan out. Hoping that my hair stays red forever (I find white hairs constantly - not even grey, white. I am way too young to have visible reminders of my mortality.) Hoping I can get my writing juices flowing. I'm itching to take on a big project again.

day 8, or, you too?

I found out that when he reads a magazine, he always reads the editor's letter, and now I love him even more.

day 7, or camping part two

day 6, or camping part one

Trevor and I went camping at Hangin Rock, NC, just for a night, but it was so what we needed. Just a little jolt of fresh air and adventure to get us excited about a new season. You know how sometimes you have these great expectations for a trip and then it totally falls flat and you just want to turn right around and leave? This was not one of those times. This was perfect. We even crossed some things off our bucket list that we didn't expect and if you really want to know, well, you can email me.

day 5

I think the difference between an immature Christian and a mature Christian is carelessness. The mature Christian is thoughtful and careful - intentional - about every word he says, everything he does. Some people are so good at that. You can tell they measure their words, pause before getting angry. It's obvious when a person has that trait.

I don't think enough about sin, about being conscious of when I'm sinning, particularly with my words. Some things I stubbornly haven't handed over to God yet. And yet I want to be someone who only speaks words of encouragement, of life. I want to think, and pray, before I act. I want to be conscious, at all times, that God is with me. That I can either glorify him or not, honor him with my words and actions or not. I'm ready to grow up a little.

day four, hiking

We went camping and hiking this weekend and it was heaven. More to come.

day 3, or my current job story

I worked at Anthropologie for nine months, right up to almost the end of the summer. It was as magical and fragrant as you would imagine. I wore cardigans and vintage dresses and red lipstick to my shifts. I told women how fabulous they looked when they came out of the dressing room, assuring them that they absolutely did look like Kate Middleton in that cream coat. I sewed orange slices together for displays. I ate lavendar espresso cheese at employee parties. I had coworkers with names like Oceana, Holland, Amelie, Mittens. (That is a true story.) I'd never been so inspired by a job.

Unfortunately the hours sucked. And so when I was offered a job cleaning houses, I almost had no choice but to accept. I needed a more steady income, even if that meant trading my Chanel perfume for bleach and tile scrub.

So that's what I'm doing now. I clean houses. It pays much better than Anthro and I'm grateful for it, I know God put it in my path at just the right time. But, can I be honest for a minute? It's brought up a lot of crud I didn't know I had lurking around me. Like pride.

I don't mind the cleaning. It's strange for me to be all up in a stranger's personal business, and I don't enjoy it, but it's fine. It's hard work that I can do and then be done with. But when people ask what I do, I want to crawl under the table. Because this isn't really me, I'm not really a housecleaner! I went to college! And I get all weird about it.

I would so love to say that I'm getting over it, that I've found my identity in Christ alone and that I don't care about impressing people or feeling smart. But I struggle with it every day, every time I snap on those rubber gloves. Because let's face it, this isn't what I had envisioned my twenty-five year old self doing.

I get it. It's a job and I'm making money and that's all that matters. There are so, so many people who would love just to be able to say that. God is providing. And also teaching me a lot, a lot of things I'm not sure I wanted to learn. And in the end, it's all for him anyway, so who am I to wish for anything different? I truly believe I am right where he wants me and that is always a good feeling.

day 2, or my autumn reading list

Just a few books I'm itching to read this season. Fall reading is more of a "thing" for me than summer reading, not that I don't read in the summer, but certain books just seem particularly fallish. I also get all nostalgic about re-reading favorites. What's on your reading list?


To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

I have never read this. Or seen the movie. I can't even tell you the basic plot. Also I have a degree in English. This is a problem.


Two-Part Invention - Madeleine L'Engle

This is part of L'Engle's Crosswicks Journal series, which I adore. I haven't read this one yet, but it has a tree with orange leaves on the cover, so I'm guessing it's appropriate.


A Million Little Ways - Emily Freeman

This is a re-read for me. I read it not too long ago, whenever it first came out, but as I was reading it I kept thinking that I needed to re-read it immediately. It's a must, even (especially) if you don't consider yourself an artist.


The Heretics Daughter - Kathleen Kent

My mom bought this for me one Christmas years and years ago and even though I was so excited to read it, I never got around to it for some reason or another. It's about the Salem Witch Trials - perfect for fall.


Anne of the Island - L.M. Montgomery

This is my favorite of the Anne books; the cover is all but totally torn off. It's just perfect for cozy, homebody nights.


The Robe - Lloyd Douglas

This is one of my favorite books of all time. If you haven't read it, you need to. It's a story about the Roman soldier who rolled dice for Jesus' robe and won and was never the same again. Ugh, I can't even tell you how much I ate this up the first time I read it.

day 1 (or, hello october)

This morning was chilly - fifty something degrees, and I sat on the porch and sipped coffee in only a flimsy nightgown, just to feel the cold. I love the person I become each fall - the studious, disciplined Heather, suddenly aware of this big open road stretched wide before me. There is so much possibility, it seems.

Fall Heather does things that Summer Heather would totally roll her eyes over. I get weird about crafts and collecting buggy leaves and pinecones outside, hoping to turn them into chic decor. I read not just for fun, but to seriously study things like theology and even a little philosophy. I paint my nails deep purple and suddenly get excited about socks and mauve lipstick. Mauve, which always ends up being a mistake.

I know this version of me; she's a familiar friend by now. One of those weird friends you don't fully understand, but still really like.

And just like always, I have a fallish craving to learn, to really apply myself to something. Some years it's writing a novel, or painting, or (heaven help us) learning to cook.

This year, however, I have a sudden desire to grow and be stretched in my faith like I haven't in a long time. All this Jesus-y stuff that can sometimes feel so reduntant is suddenly new and alive and exciting.

I'm still reading straight through the Bible, still trying to figure out what it means to put myself in God's Story. But I'm also delving into deep waters that I haven't quite ventured into before - learning about the spiritual disciplines and what it means to truly die to myself, in one way or another, every day. Fasting, meditation, solitude...this has mostly just been head knowledge to me up until now. But I'm discovering the joy and surprises of taking my walk with God seriously and it's opening up my stubborn little heart.

Part of me is concerned. Is this just Fall Heather, getting excited about learning and trying new things? Is this just a phase or a fad, this spiritual discipline stuff?

Maybe it is. Maybe I'm not sincerely seeking God, and am instead just trying to "do better." I really don't know. But I'm also thinking maybe it doesn't hurt to try. I'd rather do something in the excitement of a new season, for maybe slightly skewed intentions, than not do it at all.

october

I decided to join the Nester again this year in blogging all thirty-one days in October.

I know, I know. It's rare for me to even post once a week anymore.

But I love the idea of a challenge, and I'm making it simple this year. Writing just to get back in the habit of writing. I don't have a unique or informative topic; in fact, I don't really have a topic at all. Just photos and stories, me challenging myself to get into a habit of daily doing the things that I'm already passionate about.

That's the thing about photography and writing; they're so related in that when it comes down to it, it's all about telling a story. And when I make a habit of telling the daily, simple stories of my life, I'm able to see patterns and grow and maybe even encourage someone else in the process. So, here we go. It won't be fancy but maybe it'll be just what I need in this season.