Awkward

Awkward moments define my life. It's like a gift. Some people sing, some tap dance. I produce awkward/embarassing situations. Here are some recent favorites.


1. When people ask if I want cream in my coffee, for some unfortunate reason, my first instinct is to say, "No, thanks. I'm a black person." I *usually* stop myself before actually saying this.

2. Finding a hideous shade of lipstick in my drawer and throwing it away, only to realize that I wore it on my wedding day.

3. At a rehearsal dinner recenly, in line for food:

Me: Is that sushi?
Guy in front of me: Those are stuffed mushrooms.

I'm real cultured, y'all.

4. My Panera date with my sister, Christy. We were standing in line when a little girl looked at us and asked her mom why we looked like twins. My sister and I, quite amused and charmed by the little girl, explained that we were sisters. "Sisters?!" she said. "But you look like old ladies!"

Thanks, kid.

5. Walking into Starbucks and seeing another redhead wearing the exact same dress as me. Normally, I would make a big deal out of the situation and be all, "Oh my goshhhh! This is amazing! Let's be friends!" But she didn't seem as amused by the situation.